Pope donates throne to the poor

Today the pope has announced he has ordered the Vatican to start melting down unneeded gold items with the proceeds from the sale of the gold going to help the poor in Africa. The Pope is setting an example to all world leaders by starting this push by melting down his own throne. Many other artifacts will also be recycled in this first fundraising push. The Pope has set a longer term goal of removing from all Catholic churches worldwide superfluous gold inlays, coatings, and additions to furniture to this initiative. He has appointed a senior Cardinal, Monsigneur Alfresco de Bullion to oversee this world wide programme.

NGOs worldwide have welcomed the move, with Poor Relief International chief Justin Owen-Interest saying “The Pope has yet again shown bold leadership in Africa. This will only serve to further prove the Pope’s position as being the most in touch world leader when it comes to the plight of Africans everywhere.” He went on to point out the Pope’s long positive record in Africa “Through programmes such as denouncing Condoms as spreading HIV rather than causing it, and lobbying to prevent American government funds from educating women about contraception and abortions, the Vatican has demonstrated time and time again a willingness to put the welfare of the African people above posturing and politics.”

The new Vatican led programme on relief for the poor will be advertised using a thought provoking and high impact banner. The Vatican will pay out of its own coffers and business jet expense fund to plaster the below advert on billboards all over the Western world in order to encourage other leaders to follow his bold example.

… Unfortunately the above is a parody of the Pope’s actual position and the Catholic Church’s history on the African continent. If only he practiced what he preached.